she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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