Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
