Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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