no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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