If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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