I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
