I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
