I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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