Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
