I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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