some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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