Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize