I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
