Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
