lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
