i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
