butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
