You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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