My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
wow bdsm is so cute
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
