i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
