I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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