And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
