the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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