Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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