names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
bring money and cleavage
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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