another moral hangover. fuck.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
