I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Even my vagina gasped.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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