You made me cry and you don't even care
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
