It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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