Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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