you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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