Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
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You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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