Say something about gay babies.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
