Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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