i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ok first of all what the fuck
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
