whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
