okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
