ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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