just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize