I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
