Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
