Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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