Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
