He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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