cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
