escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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