marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
