Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
