hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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