what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
