Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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