You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
