So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
