You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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