I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Quick, to the slutcave!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
