I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
