Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
