Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
